Unfinished Canvas

So again it's been time to reassess life... again. (Lately I've become rather good at it.)

As of late I'm not going to lie I feel like I'm being bombarded by everyone's voices again,  "Tommy you should do,  blah blah ble-blah-bluu" or the, "I'm positive this is what you have to do because I am the all knowing (insert whatever whitty caption comes to mind.)"

IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM!

This past July I clearly remember God reminding me what to do, and in all honesty I've been taking my steps to get there but at my own pace. So in typical Tommy fashion I will admitt I've been having my distractions and I start to jump on and off the path.  I see opportunities given to me like starting to brew my own beer (which really excites me actually), trying to start a new band, go and write poetry and blogs, learn to work in a machine shop and make lots of money, and as great as these things look and sound NONE and I mean NONE of them seem to give me that idea of fulfillment. (As much as I would love to be in a band again, and making money knowing I'll have that comfort.)

Here I am again. Wondering what the heck Tommy?

And I think about it again, and again, and again.

So I have a confession to make. As an artist I have maybe only finished seven or eight paintings I've started. Because of this I literally have a floor full of half finished canvases or a quarter of the way done.

Every time I see these I'm reminded of what I was going through or thinking at the time. The ones where I was hurting, ones where I was confused, ones where I was lost, ones where I was glad, and ones where I was inspired.

And I think to myself will I ever finish any of these?

Everytime the answer is no.

I think of life and people will say well why not do all of these things?  Why not just settle and combine what you love? In all honesty I can say because that's not what God asks me to do.

Like the unfinished canvas on the floor my life was not confined to just one idea to be maintained in a single image, but to one purpose that needs to be fulfilled which can be seen through the process of getting there.

I know I can thank God for that.

So as I press on I know I'll keep striving because that's part of my process, I know I can keep loving because it's what I'm called to do, and in time I will be working at (a) church. But for now I'll keep going on, and that's a promise.