Everyone has a feeling. Now when I say this I don't mean like people feel something I mean that people FEEL something inside. It's a feeling inside their heart, a feeling that needs to be acknowledged. Sometimes people dont trust this feeling so they let it be and other emotions start to slowly engulf this feeling. Most of the time people say oh it's love that I need or if they just did the right thing instead of the other that this feeling would be complete. Sometimes they try to satisfy this feeling with other things but they're just not doing it right. So eventually they feel alone. Well I know this may sound weird but at times I think it's interesting how people can honestly wonder why it feels like they're alone. Sometimes could it just be the business of life, the lose of someone important, maybe they isolate themselves because of certain situations going on that they think no one needs to know about, or maybe they just feel alone.
I think how many times have I felt this and countless others have as well. We wonder why at times does it seem like I am the only one trying to do something myself. Why at times do I have this drive? Why do I have this feeling? Why do I have faith in this feeling? Why do I have FAITH?
Recently in my life I have been struggling to no ends because I have suffered some serious damages that have been brought upon myself and my family, and for part of it knowing I was the cause as well. To start it off simple and for most people who know and didn't, I was kicked out of my house for a short period of time because I choose to be unfaithful to my father and mother. Their wishes were that I get one tattoo and that was it. I agreed happily then low and behold about 8 months down the road after the first I asked to get a second and if you guessed right they said no. So somehow with me being a teenager/young adult and in my oh so genious brain I conjured up a plan, so that I would never get caught. Now this plan consisted of me getting my 2nd tattoos while keeping them hidden from my parents. It was the middle of winter so my shirt was never going to becoming off for a while so if I got them in a place where they couldn't see I would be safe. But the one thing I didn't end up thinking about is getting sunburned when spring came around, and then most people know but if you didn't I was kicked out of my home.
In all honesty I think it was ironic on when I got kicked out because 4 days after I left for Ecuador on a mission trip and that helped me do some soul searching, and while I was doing it I came to a point to where I had to ask myself.
Why am I doing this?
Why do I have this Feeling?
Why do I have this Faith?
In Matthew chapter 6 you have a section called Treasures in Heaven now Jesus is talking about how we store things that are pointless to us now on earth and we should focus on the real treasure. But I think besides earthly matters he was talking about something on a deeper level than just gold. It says in the 21 verse "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
My treasure? What is my treasure? Is my treasure this feeling? Could this treasure be my faith?
Now if you look up the definition of the word faith the normal translation you get is it's a belief in something that cannot be proven. Yet countless people believe in faith Christian and non Christians alike. So in this world the word faith has grown to have many different translations, some of which a person would think it's complete nonsense. While others make it seem like the simplest of things one could do but I find one translation a bit more interesting than the rest. So this different definition for the word Faith when translated into 'Poly' is the word 'Sada' and the literal meaning of the word "is to place the heart upon" (this is Buddhist translation I believe)
Now scriptures says for where your treasure is there your heart will be also, and if we look at Sada (aka faith) we are to place upon the heart. We have a faith and it's to be place upon our hearts, our heart holds our treasures, and our treasure is this faith.
We have this faith. It's in our hearts. Why it's there we don't know, but if we are to place faith upon our hearts and make it our treasure, make it our desire, make it our passion. Then what would this faith really be?
Would we be capable of finding a love that no one can comprehend? Would we finally be capable of finding a treasure that will bring us eternal fulfillment that one can only dream of?
So we know of this Faith, we can address it and start to see why it's there but then one must ask.
What is the faithless?.
Is the faithless feeling alone? Is it that we feel that we are not good enough for this, that maybe this just isn't us our that we could never reach this standard.
Once again I have to admit I find it very interesting when people think this way, and I say this because of my life really. I have grown up in a christian home, I went to a christian school, and I went to a christian church. Now I honestly don't know how my life could of been even more filled with a christian influence unless my parents gave me away to a church but back to my point.
I was SURROUNDED by Christ, yet I had this feeling. A feeling of lonliness, a feeling that I had wanted to be filled. A feeling that had been slowly building up over the years, and I was just yearning to know what it was.
At first I figured it was just me, that I was the oddball of the so called "Christians" and that this feeling would just remain forever. Now this really bugged me because if anyone should know a thing about Love it should of been me. Like I said before I was raised in a Jesus enviroment and one of the big things he promoted was Love, yet all I could do was feel alone.
So did this mean I was faithless? Was I to be one of the seeds who was tossed into the thornes only to be choked out? Wasn't this faith in God supposed to be enough? Soon what was the object of my affection became the target of my frustration, and just having a faith in God was not enough...
God not enough?
Alpha and Omega
The well spring of life
The King of Kings and Lord of Lords
yet I somehow thought I wasn't getting enough?
Was it that I had taken this word for granted? Have I left myself so open to God that I was to be only crushed by him? But then I read something. It was later in matthew there is another story, now this story is different and it's in chapter 14. Jesus had dismissed his disicples onto a boat, and he was dismissing the crowd. Afterwards he went to a mountain to pray. After he came back and the boat had already been moved out because of the waves. So on the disciples fourth watch Jesus comes out to them on the water and it says
26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Now this is very interesting in itself because you have Peter the "Rock" a man of faith, and here Jesus is saying
"You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Now we're pretty sure that Peter knew that Jesus was the Christ because before he even got out of the boat he yells "Lord, if it's you" looking at this it would seem to be pretty hard for Peter not to have the faith in the Lord but then one should ask
What about the faith in his heart?
What about the feeling he has?
What about the drive he has to get out of the boat and walk to the Lord.
Jesus knew Peter had faith in him, but what Peter didn't know was Jesus had faith in him. When you look at it Jesus had faith in us all, otherwise he would have never come, and I'd have to say this feeling in our hearts. This Faith is not only to believe in something not proven but to place in ones heart the faith in the assurance of themselves, to know that this drive is a drive given by God to let us know...
That we are not alone. That we are capable of anything through Christ if we can have Faith in him and in ourselves
in John 15:16 it says "16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name."
This is Faith, a Faith that God has, and he has passed it down into his image, as he breathed life into the dirt he filled it with Faith. A faith placed upon our hearts to go and bear fruit in his name. To go be his image and show that with faith we can do all things through Christ. That with faith we could move mountains.
So as you go out today, please I ask you to just take a second and wonder, what am I going to be placing upon my heart today? beacuse as said in James 2:18
18But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.
Now with this assurance knowing that even though we have faith, we know that God has faith in the faithless and that we may realize it's time that we should as well. So let it be shown by our hearts that your faith is shown by what you do.